Lincoln Farrell Barlow (1944-2024)

On Sunday, January 7, 2024, my dad passed away unexpectedly. He had been struggling with a few health problems and had been in and out of the hospital a few times, but we didn’t expect that they would take his life. It was hard to be separated from him and our family over the last few weeks of his life.

In April 1999, we moved into our new home in Taylorsville and a few weeks later my mom and dad moved into their home right next door. At that time, our twins Lincoln and Rachel had just turned one. So for their entire lives, all of our kids have had the great blessing of having grandma and grandpa right next door. They could run out our back door and disappear through their back door anytime they wanted.

As we prepared for the funeral, I asked each of them what is something they’ve learned from grandpa. Here is what they shared:

Be on time!

For my dad, that meant if a meeting started at 9am…like church…he was going to be there at 8:30. He was NEVER late for ANYTHING. If he wasn’t there 15 minutes early, he was late. Kimberly would rush the kids to get ready for church with the urgency, “We have to beat grandpa to church!” And while that proved to be impossible, Kimberly now has that same urgency that if we aren’t 15 minutes early, we’re late. He always stayed late too. He set the expectation for our family that you should plan to stay after and help clean up.

When you make a commitment to do something…you always show up and follow through. Grandpa was 0% flakey. It was not in his character.

My dad was 100% dependable. When he committed to do something, you could absolutely rest assured it would happen. He had your back on anything you needed. Everyone in our family knew you could count on him.

He had a gift for humor that allowed others to feel welcome and special. He was a light to others and often that light was shared through a joke or two. He had a special gift for bringing people together that not many people possess.

I knew this throughout my life, but I especially saw this as we’ve lived next door to each other for the last 25 years. He would reach out to others with humor, often in a way that might initially feel he is making fun of you, until you start to realize how much he loves you. His love would shine through by using that humor.

There is nothing more important than family!

My dad would say this often. He was always focused on his family. He gathered all of his family together on the first Sunday of each month to be together, share a meal, laugh, sing, and have a spiritual thought. He would come to all of our games and activities, and had a voice that you could hear above everyone else cheering you on.

His missionary service inspired me to serve a mission, which was one of the greatest decisions of my life.

I have to share some additional detail on this one. My dad once told me that his goal was to serve 1/10th of his life as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Think about that for a minute. Remarkably, he did that.

The day my dad retired, he and my mom submitted their application to serve as missionaries. My dad served as a missionary in France as a young man (for three years he often reminded us). Since he spoke French, he and my mom had visions of going back to France, or maybe to Fiji or Tahiti. I’ll never forget their shock when they opened their call and they had been assigned to the Democratic Republic of the Congo Kinshasa Mission as Humanitarian Missionaries. They even seemed a little scared.

I told him, “Dad, when you say you will go anywhere, they take you at your word.” We had discussed when they submitted their application that they could express priorities where they would like to serve. But my dad didn’t want to do that. He wanted to express a willingness to serve anywhere needed, and that says everything you need to know about him.

He and my mom served four missions in Africa totaling five years. They served in Democratic Republic of the Congo Kinshasa Mission as Humanitarian Missionaries. Then in the Uganda Kampala Mission as Humanitarian Missionaries. After returning home they were asked to serve as Water Project Consultants for Kenya, Burundi, and Democratic Republic of the Congo. And then they returned to the Democratic Republic of the Congo, but this time in the Lubumbashi Mission as Member Leadership Support missionaries.

My dad was very missionary minded, which he got from my grandma and grandpa growing up in southern Georgia. When I was called to be the bishop of our ward, it was a new ward so we had to fill all of the leadership positions. I knew immediately that we should call my dad to be the Ward Mission Leader. He did incredible work there with a new ward and a new neighborhood working with some really great ward missionaries.

When they returned from one of their missions from Africa, I was serving in the stake presidency and we needed a couple to serve a live-at-home mission as Member and Leader Support Missionaries in the West Jordan Utah Westland Stake. I remember their surprise as I extended that call to them after they had only been home from Africa a few days. It was exciting to watch the impact they had on our stake in strengthening so many people’s faith and inviting them to take steps to come closer to Him.

My dad had a great love for family history work. He loved to find names and organize all of the cards for the temple ordinances that needed to be completed. He and my mom loved serving as service missionaries a the Family Search Library in Riverton where they served as Family History Consultants.They also served in the Jordan River Temple for many years.

For their humanitarian missions in Kinshasa and Kampala, they did many different projects like clean water projects (where they invested most of their time), wheelchair projects, neonatal resuscitation, and vision care. There are great descriptions of each of these projects on this site.

One of their favorite and most meaningful projects was in Luputa, where over 100,000 people is this town had no running water. People would walk long distances to find water. You can read about their experiences on their mission blog here and here. President Nelson talked about this project in the October 2019 General Conference.

They also loved doing wheel chair projects. They would hire contractors to build wheelchairs that could navigate the uneven roads in Africa. Here is a video of them distributing those wheel chairs.

Click here to see “Wheelchair distribution in the Democratic Republic of the Congo.“

I share all of this to say that my dad was the best example I have in my life of striving to follow the example of Jesus Christ in serving others. One of the attributes of Christ found in Preach My Gospel is “diligence”. Here is what is says about diligence:

Diligence is consistent, earnest effort. In missionary work, diligence is an expression of your love for the Lord. When you are diligent, you find joy and satisfaction in the Lord’s work (see Alma 26:16).

Diligence includes doing many good things of your own free will instead of waiting for
leaders to tell you what to do (see Doctrine and Covenants 58:27–29).
Preach My Gospel

My dad was definitely diligent in his efforts to follow the example of the Savior. I will always be grateful for, and will always remember, his example.

My dad was the last person we saw before leaving for Tennessee. As I gave him a hug, he said, “I wish I was coming with you.” And he meant it.

When we talked to him shortly before he died, he told me, “Please don’t come home. Just stay there and stay focused on the work you’ve been asked to do.” We felt conflicted, but ultimately decided to stay in Tennessee. It was wonderful to see how my brothers and sisters united together in his final days, and then during the days leading up to the funeral, and it was hard to miss out on all of that. We watched the funeral from home, and I spoke via Zoom.

As my dad’s condition continued to decline, we asked the missionaries here in the Tennessee Knoxville Mission to pray for him. I’m so grateful for their powerful faith. We felt a lot of comfort from that, and I’m sure my mom and dad did as well.

I feel so much gratitude for my mom and dad. How do you ever repay all that your parents have done for you? I’m lucky to have always had their love and support in my life. I’m grateful for their examples.

One of our missionaries, Elder Shelley, has some incredible musical gifts. He was so kind to send me this great arrangement of “God Be with You Till We Meet Again”: