Written by Lia

My conversion story is not the stereotypical conversion story most people probably think of. Missionaries did not come knock on my door some random day and ask to share a message or invite me to church. My interest in the church all started because of the reality TV show on Hulu The Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives. I was obsessed with watching that show. What started as something that I watched unseriously, became something that avalanched into a very serious part of my life. 

I was watching it so much, that I started having nightmares that I would go to an LDS church and be judged. So I decided that I would visit an LDS church, so that maybe if I have a good experience there, I’d stop having the nightmares.

I didnt think anything of it. I thought I would just go to church, hopefully have a good experience, and never return again. I was raised in the Methodist church, and Christians who are not LDS often have a negative view toward The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. That included myself. I thought the LDS church were not actually Christians. I told myself there was no way I’d ever become a member. But I’d go just as a “side quest.” 

I Googled “Mormon churches near me” because at the time I didn’t know to call it LDS. I found the website and applied to talk to the missionaries. Soon after Sister Jonsson and Sister Fraser called me. I was so nervous, but I didn’t want to waste their time, so I told them I would text them a list of questions I had for them. 

They were some heavy hitter questions. I asked them about the church’s stance on gay marriage and LGBTQ people, how many people they think will go to heaven (I had that opinion mixed up with Jehovahs Witnesses), and more. 

They said that they’d like to answer those questions in person, and I agreed. We set up a date and time to meet. I remember meeting them and relaxing. We had things in common, they were the same age as me, and they didn’t look like people who would judge me. They were “just a girl, just like me.” 

We talked about my questions, my doubts. I told them about The Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives and the video I’d been watching which explained some of the Church’s history and the Restoration, and how the person who made the video helped me to respect “Mormons” more. 

Even as they were meeting with me that first day, I still didn’t think I would become a member. I just wanted to visit the church for a day, and ask some missionaries some questions.  Because along with the fact I had a negative view of the LDS church at the time, I also had negative experiences with my church in the past, so I wasn’t currently a Christian. I didn’t go to church, but I did pray a lot and on occasion read my Bible. I had a complicated relationship with God. 

It all started when I was 13 and was sexually abused by my father. I became absolutely afraid of men. I couldn’t walk by a man or be near one without feeling intense anxiety and even flashbacks. I would constantly question why God would let this happen to me. I was mad at God. I was mad that I felt alone and abandoned. I stopped praying for years.

When I was 16, I tried going to a Presbyterian church, and for a few weeks, I even researched Judaism. I just wanted to feel at home in religion again. I wanted answers. I wanted to have a relationship with God again. I wanted to feel the safety and comfort I’d had leaning on him in my younger years. But nothing stuck. So I just prayed by myself, and read my Bible by myself, but it would constantly bring up feelings of being unsure whether or not God was really real. Whether i could really trust him. I was hurt and lost. 

So when I reached out to the missionaries, I thought it would feel the same way. I thought it would just be another church that wouldn’t make me feel at home. That wouldn’t feel true. But as I continued talking to them, getting rides with members of the Asheville Ward to sacrament meeting, and meeting the members of the ward that would later become mine, I realized that there was really something there for me. There was community, something I craved and did not have. There was kindness. There were imperfect people, not the stereotypical LDS members that are perfect and prim that I had heard about in the TV show. There were many people I admired and looked up to. And the more that I reflected on what I was being taught, and the more I read the Book of Mormon, the more I realized that it was true.

I’m not sure of a specific moment I realized it was true. I think I slowly started to piece everything together and to learn to trust it as time went on. I slowly started to realize that I would be okay if not drinking coffee and giving up other pleasures led to this beautiful life with these beautiful people, and all of the blessings it entailed. I was growing a closer relationship with God. Instead of saying “Dear God, please help me with *xyz*” and then immediately closing the prayer and going back to not believing, which is what I often did every night, I began to have long prayers, telling Him about my day, my doubts, my worries, even my successes. I would thank Him. I began to understand Him and in his role in my life. I began to heal from my abuse. I began to realize that I was comfortable with shaping a new life for myself, and that my old habits and identity weren’t me anymore. 

As the lessons with the sister missionaries continued, I finally wrote down a list of things I thought were required to do to be baptized into the church and become a member, and I sent it to the sister missionaries. Sensing the opportunity, they invited me to be baptized. I wasn’t sure at first, but after a few hours of thinking about it, I said yes. 

It’s been 4 months since I baptized. I was baptized January 23, 2026. Since then, my life has changed for the better. I have made so many new friends, who offer help when I need it. I often go to The Book Of Mormon, General Conference talks, the Sister Missionaries, or the Bible and Book of Mormon when things are worrying me or weighing me down, and I get answers every single time. 

I even have started forgiving my father, something i genuinely believed i would never do. 

People have said they can see a more confident, happy version of myself since I’ve joined the church. I am constantly sharing with my neighbors and trying to invite them to church. I even made an LDS Instagram account where I share my faith journey. Though I sometimes still struggle with craving old habits or identities, and i sometimes still have doubts, and it sometimes feels so hard to learn new things and adjust to a new faith and lifestyle, it has been the best thing for me. I know that the more that I trust God, pray, read my scriptures, and go to church things will get easier, and slowly, they do. I feel like i have a purpose now. 

Seven months ago, a psychiatrist asked me what I wanted to live for, and I said nothing, except for my baby cousin. Now I know that I have so much to live for, and that I am a worthy child of God who can do so many things. I now understand that Heavenly Father has a plan for me. I even have my patriarchal blessing to read when I feel discouraged. I wish that everyone could feel the joy and healing of joining this church. The church is undeniably true and I am so thankful for all the things that led me to it.

#TKMTenderMercies